Wouldn’t it be awesome if that one moment your brain realized that it was ready for a relationship, your soul mate knocked on your door with a nice smile and the foods you prefer, like, and proceeded with the suggestion of a romantic movie night at your couch?
Yet, with a slight extra effort, a genuine love blossoms between two people knowing what they are settling for, and at the same time being prepared to wait for just the right person.
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| Photo: Jonathan Borba/Unsplash |
This can help if:
- when a mature, intelligent, and educated person understands that emotionally, they are ready for a romantic association.
- until there comes a guy who is completely diametric to your very existence.
- it is hard to predict who the right person is because you cannot comprehend the way other people feel.
- you don’t understand what sort of person is best for you.
What do you think?
Such a question becomes a lot more complex and difficult to respond to when it comes to dating another person. Whether you feel like you're single or already know someone and planning to ask them out, it would be wise to know clearly what you expect out of the connection.
First of all, ask yourself if you want a relationship for the sole purpose of finding 'your other half' or because making someone fall in love with you is your life goal. Is spending time with a new person better for you, if you are already happy with your life and want your relationships to expose you to freshness and experiences? Sometimes it’s the case, that people are seeking relationships to solve something in their life or just to have that glow of having a relationship with them. Although readiness by itself cannot guarantee that it will all work out in the end, you can certainly feel more secure and satisfied with your relationship when you find someone you want to be with.
When you feel you’re ready, think about what components of a relationship you consider as important and what kind of personal qualities are essential. Also, think about what qualities you’re proud of in yourself and what you value in others. Or, you can just make a list with the stuff you wouldn’t change a bit as the dominant point.
Please, be careful not to recite shallow items which are like long hair, 'nice smile' and 'blue eyes' These are the things that could distract you from what will be important eventually and that is whether you two are on the same page and not on different pages like if you were reading different books. Yes, physical appearance also matters a lot, but how much someone could get you attracted during communication might be more mysterious, or even you don’t know until you have a conversation with them.
You might decide you like people who are:
- trustworthy
- honest
- affectionate
- respectful
- kind
- generous
- fun
- loyal
As soon as you’ve completed your list, remember to keep it in mind during the next meetings or when getting to know a new person better. It will guide you in that, if what you feel is a bond with someone then it might turn out to be something really great then.
Additionally, it is quite wise to consider the kind of relationship you want to have, too. Mono-polyamorous people might sometimes feel attracted to many partners at the same time or even would consent to their partner dating one or several others. It will be a good idea for you and your future beloved would be to see to it that you will agree on this, just to prevent becoming a problem that hurts any of you.
Have you thought of anyone that you share the same passion and intellect with?
If you find someone interesting or attractive and want to connect with you on a deeper level, then give each other a chance and spend some time becoming familiar with each other first. This multiple-step process of building a connection with an individual will give you more information about whether you're suitable for each other.
To help you decide, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Will those characters share the ethics I admire?
- Do we communicate easily?
- Do I find myself with much ease in this person's company? Or do I feel at ease with this person?
- Whether we accept each other's views or not is a distinguishing characteristic of us.
If you have doubts regarding the potential of a relationship, you can always discuss this with someone you trust. Talking to your friends and family might help to figure this out.
Does the other person is up to a relationship?
Relationships are like an exchange way. Do you know their heart’s desires? Do you grasp what their feelings about you might be? Perfectly, you would inevitably experience similar sensations to the ones you felt and if it made sense, you could act on it.
However, it frequently goes the rough way as well. It hits you hard when you learn that the one who you are more than everything with, isn’t so interested in you. Feeling rejected sucks. However, this can also be a customary stage of dating in the process of looking for truthful relationships. Finally, it goes to the main thing that loved you back, and vice versa is the key.
Where will you find someone that will be consistent with yours?
Experiment with going to places that have the same interests as yours with people who are more like you. Very often, clubs and societies are the smallest little worlds which consist of people who have some common topics of interest. Sharing your passion with somebody who likes to have it, too, is the best option for starting a conversation with a brand-new acquaintance. Try to find out what clubs and societies your college, university, or town offers. You might discover a group that matches your interests and join it.
One thing for sure is, that you will find that places hold different meanings for you. Music has a magic way of uniting people the moment you click the repeat button on every hip or pop song. If there is a person who you think you can connect to - be talkative to see whether it’s accomplished or not. A smile or a simple greeting comes in handy and may be perfect all you need to do is just simply start getting to know that person better enough. But if this is the case, I think some people will be confused (that is for a sizeable amount of people), so have a look at our tips for meeting new people.
What about dating apps?
Hooking up and flirting (or maybe even meeting people) with people in online dating apps can be very exciting and really cool, and this is a way a lot of folks get to ask someone out. Furthermore, it is great to have this chance to meet people that you don't usually meet in your daily life, so it just adds to the whole experience.
- If you decide you’re keen on trying out dating apps, keep these tips in mind: If you decide you’re keen on trying out dating apps, keep these tips in mind:
- Safety first. Do not be inconsiderate of your safety. Engage in socializing in public situations, and hold off exchanging any deep personal thoughts with them. Read safety’s guide on how online dating can be done responsibly for more info.
- Looks aren’t everything. A critical part of the online dating culture is that physical appearance is everything and if you’re just saying ‘no’ based on what someone looks like on their profile, you might overlook some phenomenal matches while you swipe and reject them.
- As a rule, take a rest if you are exhausted. This swiping will turn tedious time by time. And that sometimes (not always though) we tend to get a bit tired of the whole thing. Read on as we have some tips on how to avoid dating app burnout.
It’s not meant to last (a) forever
Besides, sometimes you might be certain and want to have a relationship right now, but this doesn’t mean you’ll like the relationship all the time. No matter what the resolution of the relationship is you should never feel tied into it. So, the date will you go to, be aware of yourself and check-in.
There is nothing wrong with how you’re feeling and if you are not very eager to keep the relationship going, ending it is also a valid choice. You must just keep in mind that others feel just as much as you do, and you need to make everything happen humanely. The following are a few guidelines on how to do this.
However, if the relationship is getting abusive mentally and involves more than just your normal well-being, then there could be something deeper to worry about. Engaging with a counselor, relationship specialist or peer worker can help you to understand if the situation you’re in is toxic, emotionally abusive, or has any other concerns, and also they provide you the support until you get through the tough situation.
I hope now, you won’t be as clueless as you mentioned in the initial part, about the dating world and starting a new relationship. Living your singlehood can be colorful (just don’t forget that being single is okay, too).