They say nice guys finish last, but the truth is, it didn’t only happen to “nice guys”, more than that, love isn’t just an easy game for anyone. Loving personalities, or personalities with good vibrations as one may term it, no matter the rank or status of the people that possess them, are bound to experience hitches in the pursuit of lasting relationships. Here's why:
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| Photo: Yogendra Singh/Pexels |
1. The Attraction of the Needy
Compassionate people light up the lives of those aching for love or in shatters in need of empathy. Though empathy is an advantage, it draws partners with a needy mentality, who always want to receive but rarely give. This puts the base character in a situation, that makes it seem like he is worn out to do whatever he does, yet he is always receiving the flak. I was thinking of a lighthouse –the keeper’s role is to give directions to ships, yet a ship that constantly relies on the light offered by the lighthouse to draw more fuel, remaining anchored within the harbor will inevitably leave the lighthouse itself without power.
2. The "Project" Trap:
The nurse bolsters an unshaken optimistic outlook toward patients’ capabilities and tendencies can turn into an unhealthy ‘fixer’ attitude. Compliantly, appropriate-minded partners could inadvertently become enablers, trying to “correct” a partner’s warts, assuming their love will change them. Considering this approach as a “project,” as so many organizations do, seldom accomplishes this aim and frequently results in negative reactions for everyone involved.
3. The "Yes" Monster
Saying the word no might be the most challenging task that one can be tasked with in particular for someone who always seeks to see joy in others. In fact, the ongoing agreement leaders start to resent each other, and personal space remains a stranger to them. Said another angle, it is like a chef who continuously prepares dishes for other people but never orders food for himself or herself – in the end, he or she feels drained. Love is a wonderful thing and should be encouraged; however, love must be equal and that means freedom to have different opinions even if they are opposite.
4. Doormat Dilemmas
To be specific, people-pleasing behavior may stem from the wish to avoid conflict situations. This means that good-intentioned people can become completely ignored by partners who search for a happy equilibrium. As often with affinity marketing, it is an approach that is almost imperceptibly entered into but once embarked upon is very hard to abandon. Personality each of them emphasizes that to attract a worthy person, they need to gain confidence and learn to tell him what they need.
5. The Trust Tango:
Honesty and credibility remain lenses through which any health relationship should be able to be viewed. Yet once more, trust is a two-edged sword that puts the trusting party in a very dangerous position when it comes to being fooled and rejected. Thereafter, imagine banking halls without security cameras – the idea is something to cringe about. It is very important to be careful of what you get into because it does not make you a bad person if you are a little selective in what you believe in.
6. The Blinding Light of Love
Love does not need props like blindness because that which is truly real does not need any help from imagination. At different times, the substance can be simplified to mean that a good heart means that one can easily ignore obvious signs that are normally considered red flags during the initial phases of a relationship. Boys and girls should not be dated because it is important to uphold good standards and should not date a person who'll treat you. Perhaps, it is more than possible to picture a lifeguard who does not pay attention to the aforementioned signs – disaster lurks in such cases. It may sound drastic but if you wanna be connected and healing go ahead and throw someone a lifeline (Healthy Communication) but do not for one moment think that you must continue to keep them afloat (Saving People).
7. The Empathic Echo Chamber
You’re probably someone who is very emotional and cares a lot about everything happening around you. They can also experience empathy even to the point of being overwhelmed which makes them have empathic distortion where they fail to distinguish the emotions of their partner from their own. It is rather an enhanced version of Kezan, the sensitive microphones, which record all the sounds in the environment making it difficult to distinguish each one. To reduce the risks of getting overwhelmed and stressed out, people also need to have clearly defined expectations of themselves and others around them.
8. The "Nice Guy/Girl" Myth:
They both also mentioned that self-compassion is a normal quality of all relationships, but shouldn’t be used as a wedge for getting love. Do not be deceived, thinking that being gentle will make someone fall in love with you is an absolute fallacy. It would not be fair if a person gives their love and constantly receives nothing in return but being IGNORED and LEFT ALONE !!! I wonder if it amazes them when they actually get paid something They wanted payment for breathing – free as fresh air – it’s a necessity the world doesn’t need to pay for.
9. The Self-Worth Shuffle
It is thus important girls should learn how to give, just as they also learn to receive, as this can be very tiring to their self-esteem. This is especially the case if you do something with good intentions but for which you are not compensated or hardly catered for. Remember, Your good heart should encompass all around you including yourself. Treat everyone like you do to a special person you love, starting with your needs and being happier. It is like a plant; it requires food to survive and grow, it can’t just stay alive and breathe surrounded by people and trees giving others fresh air while being ignored.
10. Finding Your Perfect Match
However, great news! it is not all doom and gloom here and there is light at the end of the tunnel! You realize there are totally fantastic folks in love circles who appreciate a considerate spirit and who respond kindly to openmindedness. Do not lose hope of finding a person who will value and cherish your tender nature. Sometimes it takes years and years until you meet the person you are meant to be with. Think of an equation – the right piece will actually solve the equation when put in place without being pushed there.
So, remember that kindness makes you strong, not weak-kettle. It is very important to also talk about the potential obstacles you may experience and the importance of personal well-being.